Man what a stressful day today was. I've got no reason to complain, I know. I have good health, all my limbs, and am in decent financial shape(minus the 70g's I owe for school). Tonight's class was hell. Not literally, but on the eve of break and not eating all day, I was sure ready to get outta there. Instead I stayed almost four hours and accomplished almost nothing. My presentation was weak at best, although I'll get the info I need soon hopefully. I don't have a damn clue where this documentary is going. My hearts not really into it anymore. I'm just doing it for a grade, and knowing that I'm lying to myself when I say I care, really doesn't help. Maybe it's the books I've been reading lately, a steady dose of Edward Abbey and a really good book about Mad Bear a Tuscarora medicine man from Western, NY(causes me to zone out on other things) I guess it's more a frustration than anything. I've got all these ideas I want to turn into projects, which I'm actually passionate about, and then I'm stuck doing a project for a grade, for many classes. It's all a learning curve though. I know I'll benefit from this experience. I'm very self aware, I know I'm a bullheaded, sometimes unfeeling asshole, but hey we all have our flaws. I guess I don't feel like this is a quality doc. Maybe "quality" isn't the right word, it's just not my gig. I'm pretending to care, anymore, and although of course I care about getting good grades, I'm not inspired to go out and get the footage. It seems more like a "job." Anyway, maybe a day outta Wilmington will do me some good, get me grounded and focused again. I've just been too busy with too many things to focus. The mountains are calling...
1 comment:
Oh Sean! Use your difference of opinion to make the film even more complicated (in a good way) and interesting for viewers. Your audience will actually reflect the landscape of your group. Some will see Cassandra's POV, some will relate more to Johns and some to yours. Use this! You're too smart not to turn this to your advantage. Use it to practice your compassion, but also use your own knowledge and opinion base to play devils advocate. I really think its an asset rather than a flaw.
And it is a good project. Just maybe not your project. See this too as a good filmmaking experience. Sometimes you lead and others support you. This time you support another director. Valuable, valuable learning experience.
And your presentation wasn't lame. A little under-researched, but still useful. Keep in mind this was your first time going after festival information. Now you've learned how to do it. Don't be so hard on yourself! Good grief man! Buck up and walk it off. :-)
Post a Comment